


Logic or Passion

by KaytheJay



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:15:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21659647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaytheJay/pseuds/KaytheJay
Summary: Phil is getting ready to graduate uni and he has found himself with a hard choice.
Kudos: 3





	Logic or Passion

"I just don't know," Phil said with a sigh. "It's hard you know? This YouTube thing, well, it really doesn't seem to be going anywhere. I've been handed this really amazing opportunity and I think I might have to take it." Phil shrugged and looked up to his friend, Ellie.  
"Well is the offer something you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life?" Ellie asked.  
"It's the more secure of the two options and it would open so many doors-"  
"Is it something you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life?" Ellie asked again. "Are you going to regret it if you don't take it?" Phil shrugged.  
"I just don't know," Phil said with a shake of his head. Ellie rolled her eyes.  
"Whatever," she said. "I mean, it is ultimately your choice because it is your life, but I think we both know what you want. And it's really not the logical choice. I do see why you might want to take the internship. You have to keep in mind that both are risky in their own ways. You just think that the internship is better because it comes from a stable company. YouTube isn't that." Phil remained silent. Ellie sighed. "You can either take the internship or you can continue with YouTube and actually do something that means something." Phil still said nothing. "Ok. Ok. I get it. You have a lot to think over before you make your choice. I've gotta get going anyway."  
Phil watched Ellie get up and leave. And then he was all alone. No one to talk to. No one to sit here and tell him what his decision should be. He thought about texting his mum, but he knew she would only tell him to follow what he thought was best and not tell him her input as to not sway him.  
Ellie was right about one thing though. He did think that YouTube was the option he wanted to take. But it was just so scary and new. YouTube had only just started paying him and it wasn't nearly enough to be able to live off of. And with how being in the public eye worked, it could easily disappear without any sort of warning. That is what terrified him. What if he didn't come out if the YouTube thing ok. He would have wasted a part of his life that could have been spent building a career. But he wasn't even sure what kind of a "career" that even looked like to begin with.  
Phil closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. Why couldn't life be easier? Why couldn't someone just come and tell him what he should do. No matter which he picked, he would forever wonder how different his life would be if he picked the other option. Either good or bad. And if the option he picked ever turned out bad, he would regret not picking the other even though they both could very easily go wrong.  
But would he rather be struggling because a socially acceptable job went wrong or something that isn't socially acceptable. He imagined the questions that he would get when (not if) YouTube would go wrong. Questions about why he didn't get a "real" job in the time and give up "children's dreams." Probably something about growing up as well.  
Then he took a moment to imagine himself. Imagine himself in 10 years in either place. The internship has lead to a good job. He's being paid well, but he feels like he's missing out because he didn't pick YouTube. He sighed.  
He knew what his choice had to be. He wouldn't be happy any other way. He realized that if he really didn't pick YouTube, he would be mad at himself for the rest of his life. YouTube was what he was passionate about. Being on camera and making people laugh. Reading all the comments from his viewers.  
There is no way he'd be able to live without that.  
That was it then, he supposed. YouTube it was. Diving right into the riskiest job he could possibly go for. He knew he was crazy. This was the craziest thing that he would ever do.  
But even in that moment he knew, somehow, that it would all be worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Hits and kudos mean the world to me. Comments fuel me into next week.   
> Find me on Tumblr @lesbaphannie


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